Written by: “The Masked Promoter From Parts Unknown”
Welcome back to Parts Unknown, it’s me: The Masked Promoter, back to piss all over some of you douche-y local musicians. Today, I’d like to talk about entitlement. I don’t give a Shit how many Facebook “likes” you bought, or how many people follow you on Twitter. I just want to tell you, we, as promoters, OWE YOU NOTHING.
Now, back in the dark ages of my promoting days, I have run into this bullshit entitlement “we deserve this” “why not us? First off, if you have ever asked the question “why not us?” To a promoter here’s the answer we didn’t want to tell you “BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT FUCKING WORTH IT” I actually had a band member say this at one of my shows “how come they (pointing to the touring bAnd) get so much of the door? We blew them off the stage tonight” Oh, I dunno, because they’re currently 17 hours away from home and their loved ones, and really would like to use this $150 to get to the next gig where the locals will draw a combined 15 people.
Look, I get it, your guitar wasn’t cheap. But, you could just do all $5 local shows and split the $75 at the door amongst yourself and the other bands. You could even book your own fucking shows and save us the headache of you telling us how to do our job. But, you don’t wanna do that, huh? You “deserve better”…
In what world do you live in that you truly think you deserve anything? I know full well how intoxicating being on stage is, having your girlfriend and mom scream your name in between songs is pretty bad-ass. But, did you ever stop to think hard work pays off? It just might take longer than you thought. Sucking up, life doesn’t come with the final chapter sent to us in advance.
Even down here in Parts Unknown, I will from time to time keep up on bands and the drama that is “The Buffalo Metal Scene”. For sure, you guys ought to have your own reality show. A lot of bands and scene hanger ons used to complain about a band called STEMM. “Why do those guys get every big show that comes here?” “Why do they get paid so well and we don’t?” Well, for the entire time that band was together, the hard work didn’t stop. They worked constantly. As a promoter, should I book the band who doesn’t talk about the show coming up, doesn’t sell tickets and are generally a pain in the ass? Or should I book the band who will sell a few HUNDRED tickets, promote the show on a weekly or, even, daily basis and are widely considered to have been a fucking joy to work with?
It’s simple. If you want the brass ring, go get it. But you have to be willing to play the game for as long as it takes to get there. Or put on your own shows in basements, vfw hall’s and back yards, those shows are awesome too. And you won’t have to put up with any promoter other than yourself. You’d be doing us a favor. We can’t stand it when you ask us to play a show entirely out of your league. You have better things to worry about, (like those 14,000 fans from Indonesia and Iceland, right, Sic Sin?)