It’s now been 4 years since we lost local guitarist and supremely awesome dude, Rob Rupert. Last year, I made the decision that I’ll be posting another edition of “Extra Bleu Cheese” every year on (or around) the anniversary of his tragic death, which occurred on June 1, 2013. For each edition, I’ll be telling a different story I have about Rob.
Here it goes:
On a late drizzly summer’s night in Lovejoy, circa 2003-04, I found myself walking up and down a side street, looking for a particular house. The house in question belonged to a guy I won’t name, who had picked up beer for a party we were having at a different house. It was a weird situation, but I’ll try and make sense of it. Basically, at the time, I wasn’t old enough to buy booze, but my friend on North Ogden who was throwing this party, asked me to pick up beer from a friend of his on some random street I don’t remember. The guy with the beer wasn’t going to the party, but was holding beer for it, basically, which had already been paid for.
So, anyways, I had the guy’s phone number in my cell phone, but couldn’t open my contacts for some reason. I knew the address, but didn’t want to just show up because it was a fucking weird situation. I also didn’t know exactly how to find this random ass street. I had never heard of it before. So, I start getting a little sketched out and I’m about to bail, but I feel a random piece of paper in my pocket that’s irking me. I pull it out and realize that of all things, it has Rob’s house number written down on it. So, just because I was in Lovejoy and I thought it’d be funny, I called him at a ridiculous time. Oddly enough, he answered immediately.
I remember saying something like, “Hey, dude. I know it’s late, but I’m wandering around Lovejoy right now and I’m looking for this house to pick up some beer for a party…” It started off that way and I just explained the rest of the situation really fast.
The thing about Rob was, he was always into random shit happening around him, as well sparking randomness himself. You couldn’t really surprise him with anything, unless it was completely off the wall. Even in conversations, he liked to switch gears a lot just to get a rise out of people. You’d be talking about Swiss cheese and he’d randomly burst out with something like, “I can’t stand the color of the fucking walls in this kitchen!”, then go back to the original conversation in a single beat. This is where classic Rob comes out of his cage:
I finish explaining my situation and he says, “I need you to call me back in 3 seconds.” After that, I immediately hear the call end. So, I call him back as instructed. He answers with, “Operator.”
“What?!” I asked, perturbed. “I’m your operator,” he said. “Like in ‘The Matrix’. I’m going to navigate you through the matrix right now, I hope you don’t mind.”
This is when I hear him typing on a computer. “I’m using a sophisticated program called MapQuest to triangulate your location. Be as specific as you can,” he says.
So, I start laughing and I tell him exactly where I am. At this point, I’m almost certain he’s going to fuck with me and send me right into the train tracks or something. Then, in the most serious voice imaginable he says, “You’re going to make an immediate right, followed by two lefts, then your destination will be 6 houses up on the right.” (Something like that.)
Against my better judgment, I followed his instructions exactly. All the while he’s asking me, “Can you see the glitches? Can you see the glitches in the matrix? What about the code? Are there streams of green binary code flooding your vision? Let me know and I’ll correct the problem.”
I keep laughing and telling him I’m following his instructions to the letter. Long story short, I end up at the guy’s house on the dot. Mission accomplished. I thanked Rob and he abruptly hung up the phone, but not before quickly saying, “Someone’s in danger. I’ll check on you soon. I’m needed elsewhere.”
So, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I’ll be back with another one next year. In the meantime, you can scroll down to where it says “Related” and find the link to last year’s “Extra Bleu Cheese”. You can also check out a song of Rob’s below.
I also want to add that this is The Metal Webzine’s 200th article. This is a special moment for us and I wanted to make #200 about someone even more special.
Thanks for reading!